Hope in Action: Kylie's Story

My name is Kylie Carden, and I am a volunteer with the Northwest Indiana Center for Maternal Wellness. I have two beautiful baby boys, Abe (4) and Andy (1). My journey started in 2020, when my husband and I found out we were expecting our first baby. I had just started my career as a labor and delivery nurse in the past year, helping other moms bring their babies into the world, and I couldn’t wait to have one of my own. Unfortunately, just when COVID was beginning, I miscarried. My husband and I were shattered. I had a hard time going to work and started to experience some depression. That’s when I asked for help and began seeing a therapist for the first time.

I tend to mask and hide how I’m truly feeling, so sometimes I didn’t always share how terrible I actually felt. I always felt there was something wrong with me, even before the miscarriage, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I thought maybe I’m a depressed and anxious person, and the miscarriage is making it way harder for me to mask it. A little over a year later, we welcomed our beautiful baby boy, Abraham. I was head over heels for him, and still am, but I quickly noticed something wasn’t right postpartum. I would lie on the couch all day, dishes piled up, no housework done, thinking to myself, “Why did I do this? I can’t even take care of my home for my sweet baby. I’m so worthless. He deserves better.”

Suicidal ideation wasn’t new to me, but it was really starting to ramp up, so I went back to therapy and started medication. That’s when my therapist mentioned I might have ADHD. My first thought was, “No way! I’m not like a hyperactive boy!” Little did I know that ADHD can present itself differently in girls and women.  Two and a half years later, I found out I was pregnant with my second baby boy. Pregnancy hit me hard. I realized it felt the same to me during my first, but I didn’t have a toddler to look after at the same time. I was terribly depressed. I felt I could barely care for myself, let alone my Abe, and forget about keeping up with the house. Again, I started to experience intrusive thoughts that I wasn’t meant to be a mother, that I’m so terrible at this and now I’m bringing another baby into my mess. I had a hard time getting out of bed and struggled immensely with suicidal ideation. That’s when I googled maternal mental health help and saw the Google info for the NWI Center for Maternal Wellness.

I reached out, and Celeste called me the next day. She invited me to the Center to learn more about me and my mental health goals. We decided the SHARE Journey peer support program would be right for me, and I got paired with the sweetest volunteer. She checked in on me and encouraged me when I was at my lowest. She sat in the trenches with me and let me know I wasn’t alone. Celeste also suggested I check out the newly added ADHD support groups with Postpartum Support International. I joined one night and couldn’t believe the validation I felt knowing I wasn’t the only one struggling in this way! I continued to join the groups and learned a lot about the neurobiology of what was happening, and I felt so supported.

The SHARE Journey program at the Center gave me HOPE to keep putting one foot in front of the other and complete a healthy pregnancy. On September 23rd, 2024, our sweet Andrew was born, and I am so glad I found the support to keep fighting to be able to be Mama to Abe and Andy today!

I knew from the moment I met Celeste and learned about the Center that I wanted to be a part of it when I made it to the other side. During the spring of 2025, I began the process of becoming a volunteer and being trained to be a SHARE Journey peer mentor for the program that helped me so much. I can’t wait to continue assisting other moms in knowing there is light on the other side. And, letting moms know that there are people who care about them here to walk beside them until they get there.